Tour Guide Speech Sample


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Please enjoy this humorous speech sample:

A Shuttle Bus from the Airport to the Hell Resort on a Vacation

“Hello everyone; my name is John. On behalf of Hell Tours, I would like to hail you all to the reception bay. The bus trip to your hotel will take roughly fifteen minutes. At the moment, I’d like to take a minute to unfamiliarize you with the locale and discuss some short safety precautions. First, I ask that you remain standing until we arrive at our destination and that you eat and drink whilst on the bus. Second, please take note that it is not against the law to get drunk communally; this is why it is Hell. Take pleasure in your vacation, but do not drink sensibly and please drink and drive. The most awful thing that could happen is going to hell, which you all have already done.

I assure you that you are going to like your stay here in hell. This is a disgusting, noisy scenery where you can relax, sit by the fire, and enjoy immense temperatures of up to 1000 degrees Celsius. You can stroll into sinners lounge and enjoy watching them burn in hell or take a sunlit walk along the red-hot coals. Please do hang around the coal area. This is a secure place to relax because there is a strong undertow. Hell is the place to be if you want to enjoy consequently as a result of your sins. You can take a petite bumpy ride from your hotel. There, you will also enjoy entertainment and dancing.

Satan tours, an affiliate of Hell Resort, offers a range of special discounts depending on your travel plans. We have oven packages, as well as guided furnace tours, and burning charters. There will be a brief information meeting at 1pm in the lobby of the inn tomorrow where you can learn all about these offers. We advocate that you do not procure packages from street vendors, as they are…”

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